Caliborn (
scaremonger) wrote2014-03-15 10:13 pm
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01 - forward dated to post-event
[ VOICE ]
So basically. I'm in jail.
[ Caliborn lets a long silence pan out, intending it to hammer in the sheer injustice of it all. He is also obviously walking around, the dull sound of his metal leg against the floor ringing clearly. ]
All of my preparation. All of my work and devotion. And most of all. My self attained freedom. Is sooo totally gone now. Because some slippery bitch picked me up. Like. "Hey, Cal! You've been kind of evil. So come to prison." I mean, duh? Evil is my bag. But this Admiral Shitface did it when I was in critical fucking mission mode. It's like. No wonder he's not showing his face. He should be ashamed. For ruining my glorious self-suicide godhood ascension scenario.
[ His previously just indignant tone hits a lower note of blind fury, and the sound of him pacing around gets louder as he stomps. ]
And also taking away what rightfully belonged to me. I earned all of that freedom.
[ He reaches out and kicks a chair, which rolls and hits the far wall of his cabin forcefully. ]
More than any of you. I deserve that.
[ He swings out and there's a loud clamor as the chair hits the wall again, possibly snapping. Which is completely what actually happened. ]
Some worthless mother fucker is going to like. Wheel over here. "But what about meeeee." Or maybe. "Stop whining!" Or even. "I want to get punched in the face. And every tooth in my jaw. Shattered." Which is basically. Implicit in every single response. That isn't wholehearted agreement? But. To that bullshit, I say. Were you chained up most your life?? Stuck in a room with a shit tier sister who color coded things for you??? No? Then. You can't say anything.
[ There's a long wordless silence as he shuffles around, as much as stomping is shuffling. He huffs and the device gets picked up. A moment of hesitation is followed by him throwing it against the far wall with all his might.
It's muffled, but he shouts across the room at the dumb thing. ]
I'm going to throw a tantrum. AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.
[ SPAM ]
[ And then, not too long after the post goes up, Caliborn will be found wandering the deck. He's come up with the intention of ignoring people who don't talk to him, but it's likely that his short attention span will be scooped up by some interesting looking passerby.
Before that, though... he's definitely up to no good, either by attempting to fuck up the rose gardens in some creative way when he thinks no one is looking or staring vacantly overboard where he's thrown a wooden chair.
Space is pretty hypnotic. ]
So basically. I'm in jail.
[ Caliborn lets a long silence pan out, intending it to hammer in the sheer injustice of it all. He is also obviously walking around, the dull sound of his metal leg against the floor ringing clearly. ]
All of my preparation. All of my work and devotion. And most of all. My self attained freedom. Is sooo totally gone now. Because some slippery bitch picked me up. Like. "Hey, Cal! You've been kind of evil. So come to prison." I mean, duh? Evil is my bag. But this Admiral Shitface did it when I was in critical fucking mission mode. It's like. No wonder he's not showing his face. He should be ashamed. For ruining my glorious self-suicide godhood ascension scenario.
[ His previously just indignant tone hits a lower note of blind fury, and the sound of him pacing around gets louder as he stomps. ]
And also taking away what rightfully belonged to me. I earned all of that freedom.
[ He reaches out and kicks a chair, which rolls and hits the far wall of his cabin forcefully. ]
More than any of you. I deserve that.
[ He swings out and there's a loud clamor as the chair hits the wall again, possibly snapping. Which is completely what actually happened. ]
Some worthless mother fucker is going to like. Wheel over here. "But what about meeeee." Or maybe. "Stop whining!" Or even. "I want to get punched in the face. And every tooth in my jaw. Shattered." Which is basically. Implicit in every single response. That isn't wholehearted agreement? But. To that bullshit, I say. Were you chained up most your life?? Stuck in a room with a shit tier sister who color coded things for you??? No? Then. You can't say anything.
[ There's a long wordless silence as he shuffles around, as much as stomping is shuffling. He huffs and the device gets picked up. A moment of hesitation is followed by him throwing it against the far wall with all his might.
It's muffled, but he shouts across the room at the dumb thing. ]
I'm going to throw a tantrum. AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.
[ SPAM ]
[ And then, not too long after the post goes up, Caliborn will be found wandering the deck. He's come up with the intention of ignoring people who don't talk to him, but it's likely that his short attention span will be scooped up by some interesting looking passerby.
Before that, though... he's definitely up to no good, either by attempting to fuck up the rose gardens in some creative way when he thinks no one is looking or staring vacantly overboard where he's thrown a wooden chair.
Space is pretty hypnotic. ]
Text
WHAT EVEN *IS* A PUNCHING BAG.
Text
The best ones to get your rage out are heavy bags - huge things suspended from the ceiling. I can give you my spare, if you want.
...How strong are you, exactly?
Text
STRONG ENOUGH TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU. SERIOUSLY. I'M LIKE. A STEP AWAY FROM RIPPED. AND I'M NOT A PUNY BABY UGLY WRINKLY DUMB HUMAN. OR A CHILD, THANKS. THAT HELPS A LOT.
I WILL TAKE YOUR SPARE THOUGH. ASSUMING THAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY PUNCH "PUNCHING BAGS". IT SOUNDS LIKE IT?? UNLESS IT'S LIKE. A BIZARRE THING FOR CLINGING AND HANGING.
Re: Text
No, you punch the hell out of 'em. We might need to reinforce the chains, though. Can I ask what your species is, exactly?
Text
[ He doesn't really want to tell her his species on the simple principle of being an insufferable prick, but it's not like he HAS to hide things anymore.
Caliborn also has 0 clue as to the Earth connotation of his species name, so doesn't really even think to clarify further. ]
I'M A CHERUB.
Text
Where I'm from, cherubim are heavenly beings. [Not actually cute and chubby, but what can you do.]