02

[scaremonger]

[ VIDEO ]

[ And here's Caliborn today, addressing the network with a video post. It is pointed at him in true myspace fashion. Those angles flatter EVERYONE, ok, even if you're an angry green skull monster.

He really doesn't look pleased though, and his vaguely British androgynous whiny voice reflects that as well. ]

Everyone's making annoying icky gross posts. All sentimental and shit. Like. Who cares man. No one does. Fuck your emotional shit.

Let's talk about something cool instead.

I had an idea. A GREAT idea. And. It starts like. "Do you want to play a game". Yeah?? You do? Great. You don't? Fuck your shit. We're doing this my way. We're playing a game. Whether you like it or not.

The twist, though. That's the fun part. For me. And also for you. Which makes it an especially shitty twist. Because. Only the bad guy-- ME-- is supposed to benefit?? Wow. Who saw that dilemma coming. I sure didn't!

I am so fucking bored here. There's only so much crappy self-insert fanfic you can read. In a single day. Or week. Or lifetime. So. We're going to play a game of your choosing. Teach me some cool games. All of you preferably. And we're going to play that shit. Spin that record babe? You dig.

Bring your board game of choice. Or cards. Or something that doesn't suck. But tryyyy not to bring something obvious. Like. Connect Four. Or fucking Snakes and Ladders. ESPECIALLY not chess. Checkers would be alright though.

[ Totally derailed himself tho. He'd honestly be fine with any game, he just wants to try NEW whacky and weird shit from other worlds. ]

Bring that to me in the DINING ROOM!


[ SPAM ]

[ And this asshole will be found at one of the big ass tables in the dining hall for most of today. He's probably eating something disgusting and entirely raw, or maybe chowing down on sugary delights. Either way, he's waiting around for someone to show up.

Even if you're here for entirely unrelated reasons, he'll probably wave you down. Provided you're alone, anyways. ]

Comments

[fearmonger]

[ So many unknown terms flying around here. Sugar Skull? Calvinball???? But he figured that was the whole point: learn about new games. Still a little suspicious though. ]

How do you play Calvinball.

[codename_duchess]

The question isn't how do you play Calvinball, it's how don't you play Calvinball.

[fearmonger]

Don't be cagey.

[ Now he's extra suspicious. ]

I guess that. It's a ball game? But like. A baseball? A basketball. A dodge ball. What do you do with balls. Throw me a goddamn bone.

[codename_duchess]

Um, I'm not. I'm telling you how it works.

It's a ball game. And a jump-rope and hopscotch and hide-and-seek and tag game. Whatever you want, basically. You make it up as you go.

[fearmonger]

[ This feels a little like sacrilege. ]

So. Like.

You make up rules on the spot. And everyone has no choice but to obey the rule. Or forfeit if they're really mad about it.

[codename_duchess]

Uh, no. If you don't like a rule you can make up a better one.

[fearmonger]

You can nullify rules???

That's fucking absurd.

New rule: you can't ignore rules. Or overwrite them.

[codename_duchess]

But you're inside the Circle of Isolation, so that rule only applies to you.

[fearmonger]

It applies to everyone. Cheaters will be PUNISHED. So. Fuck your shit.

[codename_duchess]

Not making stuff up is cheating, asshole. Making stuff up is part of the game. So, by your own rule, you get punished.

Take off the pants.

[fearmonger]

Oh my god.

[ This is unfair. But he can roll with it maybe. ]

But I can't take my pants off. On account. Of that violating the anti-stripping rule?? I'm stepping out of the circle of isolation. And suddenly. My rule affects everyone. Legally.

I'll just. Do some tedious hygiene instead. Like. Buffing my claws. Does that sound fine bucko.

[codename_duchess]

Your rule was made in the circle of isolation, thus only applies there. Right, Gary?

Anyway, you can't do anything till you have a mask.

Did you just call me "bucko"? Where the hell are you from? A John Wayne movie set on Dia de los Muertos?

[fearmonger]

Okay. I'm REmaking it. You can't overwrite rules. Once they're placed. It's done. Out of the damn circle.

What's a Dia de loss Moo... whatever you just said.

Who's John Wayne.

What's wrong with bucko.

Do you have a problem with my words, freakshow. That's like. A small step away from bullying?? Basically. You're going to hurt my FEELINGS.

[this_corrosion]

There's no rules about your feelings!

But I actually approve of a rule for no stripping. At least not any of us. Other people can strip, if they want, as covered under the Newbie Counterinclusion Rule.

[fearmonger]

There are moral rules from society. About my feelings. Don't be an ASSHOLE. Not going to make that a real rule, though. Because. It's funny to be mean.

[codename_duchess]

... That's, uh. Not. Actually a rule. Anywhere.

[this_corrosion]

This is too serious to talk about during a game. There's no Calvinball rules about feelings.

[codename_duchess]

Once again, the no-stripping rule was made in the Circle of Isolation. And you didn't make it again. So you still have to take off your pants.

Um, duh, I seriously can't believe you don't know, and it sounds about as intimidating as "dudebro."

And... yeah. Because you sound like an idiot. Who gives a shit about your feelings? If you can't stand losing grow a thicker skin, God.

[fearmonger]

I totally left the Circle of Isolation, though. And stepped into the Circle of Inclusion.

I have very thick skin asshole. It's scaley, even.

[ He is completely just fucking around. Nothing hurt his feelings, he's just being a complete moron. ]

And how am I supposed to know SHIT about Earth culture. I assume it's earth anyways. When I didn't grow up in it?? I'm kind of clearly. Not a fucking human.

Insult my intelligence all you want. But I think it says more about YOU!! To assume. That some non human dude. Is just. Dumb for not knowing stuff. He could never know otherwise.

[codename_duchess]

How unique and intimidating you are.

I didn't insult your intelligence before, dumbass. Stop projecting on me, I'm not your goddamn movie screen.

...OOH! NEW RULE! Anyone who steps in the Silver Screen Zone has to speak only in impressions.

[this_corrosion]

It's easier to show you. But we need masks.

[codename_duchess]

Oh shit, we do. TO THE ART ROOM! ...preferably with a black t-shirt.

[fearmonger]

Why a black shirt. Why masks. What's going on.

[this_corrosion]

I've got at least a hundred of those, give me... ten minutes.

Masks are an important part of the game. Also, the Circle of Isolation is a real thing. You're in it.

[codename_duchess]

GOOD. Because I only have five black and four slightly-darker-black turtlenecks and not much in the way of t-shirts.